So we have all heard the news that the UK will now be banning under 16s from social media. News like this is celebrated here at Tonely. The aim of the proposed law is to reduce grooming, harmful content, online exploitation, addictive platform behaviour and unsafe interactions with strangers online. (The Guardian)

I created Tonely as a proactive layer to help users avoid oversharing information and hopefully become more aware of possible dangers before something escalates.

Most people are not aware of their blind spots when it comes to online communication, let alone children.

When I was 13, I was groomed. I joined a chat room on AOL and, in those days, the natural question that was always asked was ASL (age, sex and location), so I openly declared that information in the chat room. I was then approached directly by a boy, or so I thought, who I believed was my age and lived close by. I was so excited.

We spoke every day and I remember daydreaming about our conversations in school and eagerly running to the computer straight after school. We were planning on meeting one day after school because I used to walk home. We were both excited to meet in person.

Here is what I did not know...

My mother had connected my messages to her email account. SHE WAS SEEING EVERY CONVERSATION. She later told me she had communicated with my friend and he was actually an older man. Her age 🫠

She banned me from using the computer and I remember only getting proper access again when I started Year 10. She meant business. My Nigerian mother did not play games 😭 and I am so grateful because God knows what could have happened.

The new plans to ban under 16s might not completely stop children from using social media, but it may at least make them stop and question why these restrictions are being introduced in the first place.

Personally, I do not allow my children to freely roam the internet. I have blocks on every site and they need permission to visit websites because I know social media is not the only problem. The internet can be a very scary place.

I have even made my children take online safety courses 🤭 so they understand the risks that can arise. We have had extensive conversations about stranger danger both online and offline. The list is endless, but what do you expect when their mother is a software engineer who was GROOMED 😑

Tonely was created as a preventative measure because I have noticed that society tends to be reactive instead of proactive.

Why must someone get groomed first? Why must people completely lose themselves first before action is taken?

Hopefully this is the beginning of many changes that help keep people safe online. I only hope people realise that some of us have been trying to build tools and resources that help save people from themselves before harm happens.